The workout dilemma

So I've had this gym membership for about 4 months now. When I first got it my friend and I decided to do a 5 week challenge. For the next 5 weeks I dragged my self out of bed at 3:45 6 mornings a week. I felt good in the mornings, but by 3:30 in the afternoon I was ready for bed. And by 8 every night I really was in bed. I didn't lose not 1 single pound on the scale. At the end of the 5 weeks I tried to continue my routine. You know they say it takes 21 days to create a habit......well apparently that wasn't true for me. After 2 more weeks of happily hitting the snooze button and then the off button, I decided to take the next month off. It felt great! I got to sleep in...I had more time to enjoy my coffee....but. Here is the dilemma...I am still overweight and out of shape!! Another whole month went by...I went a couple of mornings, but nothing consistent, and it made me hungrier! Which is difficult because I'm always "on a diet". I am ready to step up and start a new challenge.... I think. I go through my days and try to imagine....." This is a good time to work out ". I have not had very many moments that pop and feel like a good time. So I guess I have a time dilemma, an energy dilemma, a space dilemma (if I choose my next challenge to be home workouts), and a success rate dilemma. My attention has come back to Shaun-T and his insanity videos. They promised results if you can stick with it and eat healthy. Hmmmm...I have the videos, but how do I work past my dilemmas? I guess I will finish enjoying my coffee after having slept in this morning... And try to figure this out.

The "Friend"

I was moving from the mountains down to southern  California. My friend Lisa offered to be my road dog on the trip. We arrived in lomoc with the moving truck and car trailer around 1am. We disconnected the car and drove down to Carpinteria. We were exhausted and ready to crash for the night. We parked in front and walked in to the lobby to check in. There was a young maybe early 20s waiting at the desk already. As Lisa and I approached the desk he moved aside and politely said he was already being helped. I looked up at him and saw that he had suffered from burns at some point in the past. His skin was pitted with folds and s scars. He had no eyebrow, or lashes and the skin around his eye was taught. Only a round circle where his pupil peered out. As I was answering the questions from the front desk lady, I turned and saw him standing right behind Lisa. Peering over her shoulder. We looked at him and at the front desk lady. She gave us an uncomfortable look and told the man she would help him when she was done. He wandered off as we continued to check in. We went to the car drove to the back of the hotel and gathered our things. As we stepped out of our car we saw the man standing outside the entrance to the hotel smoking a cigarette. Lisa and I looked at each other. We both got an unsettled feeling. We walked towards him. He acted friendly said hello and opened the door for us with his card key. He followed us inside and continued to try to engage us in conversation. He walked right behind us; too close behind us. So close that we knew he could push his way into our room if he wanted to. We both started walking faster Lisa got to the room first, and had the door unlocked when I got to it. We both dashed into the room expecting him to attempt to come in. As the door slammed behind us we realized that he had just kept walking. After we calmed down we tried to laugh about it and convinced ourselves we were paranoid. As the peace of sleep was covering me like a warm blanket; the cold sound of the hotel phone ringing woke us both up. Lisa answered the phone. It was a short conversation Hello?, oh ..OK. Thank you. Bye. She hung up the phone and looked at me. "It was the man from outside...he said we left the dome light on". We both were so tired that it hadn't sunk in yet. We hopped up I grabbed my keys. Then I stopped. I turned to Lisa...." My dome light is never on" I said. I always kept it off because I didn't want to accidentally drain the battery. I knew for a fact it wasn't on. Lisa tip toed to the door and looked through the peephole. She came back into room; her face a white as the sheets. "He is outside" she whispered. She explained that she saw him scoot himself against the wall next to the door. He was prepared to ambush us when we stepped out of the room. I went to look. I could see his profile in the shadow cast on the opposite wall by the hall light. My stomach turned. We called the front desk in a panic and asked her to call the police. She said she would call the manager first. We looked again ..he was pacing the hall...then standing against the wall by our door. We called the front desk again. She was worried too. She stated that he had been harassing her all night. We heard the manager approaching. He told the man he had to go back to his room. The man said he was friends with us and that we had promised him we would hang out with him. And he wasn't going to leave until that happened. The manager was firm and said that was not an option. Either he goes back to his room or the cops are called. The man got angry and yelled at the manager for not understanding. The manager yelled back and said get to your room NOW! The man stomped off, and manager told us through the door that he was gone. Our hearts were racing, adrenaline flowing, we were so wide awake. We rehashed the story a few times until we had calmed down, and we finally fell asleep. The next day we called the manager before we left the room and confirmed that he had checked out and left already. He said he had left with his mother early in the morning. No one had seen him leave nor had anyone seen his mother. The front desk girl said that he had come in with info and the room was prepaid. Who knows where this man has gone, or if he has finally lived through his fantasy. Or if there are any dead women in his wake. I just hope I never see him again.

The man with the cabin

A few years ago I was working for a company doing some data entry. The girl that was training me was young,  early twenties I think. Her mom work there also, doing housecleaning in the the evenings. Just trying to start small talk I asked about her growing up in Mt Shasta. She proceeded to tell me the story of her mom. Her mom disappeared when Mandy was 16 years old. Leaving her and her younger brother alone. She recalled that told the police and filed missing persons reports. I had remembered seeing them at the time. She said the police couldn't find any evidence that she had been taken against her will, so they did not pursue it as a kidnapping. Mandy knew her mom wouldn't leave her alone. 3 years later her mom wanders out of the woods outside of McCloud. She claimed she had been held hostage there for three years. They took her to the hospital, even though she had no visible wounds on her. They took xrays and did blood work. The xrays were the only thing showing evidence of abuse. Multiple broken bones, in various stages of healing none of them properly set. Ribs, hands, arm, shin and ankle bones all had been broken some of them more than once. The police asked how she escaped and could she identify her attacker. She claimed she had hit him on the head with a shovel after he had slipped up and not locked up quickly enough. She tried to take them back to the cabin, but she couldn't locate it. She told the police who is he man was. When they went to interview him, he had an excuse for the wound on his head and friends to back up an alibi. He denied any knowledge of a cabin, and said he didn't know who the woman was. The police decided she was lying to get out of child abandonment charges, and refused to continue the investigation. This man still works and lives in the Mt Shasta area. Is there another woman locked up in his cabin right now being  tortured and beaten?

A volunteer kinda day

Today Kieshan and I washed our feet, got ourselves together, got out of the house and went to our sons charter school. We volunteered our time to help clean the outside area of the school. After we listened to the Director explain everything that needed to be done; Kieshan put his work face on grabbed a rake and got down to serious  raking business. I stood there and looked around trying to decide what to do. I should have thought more about it; I grabbed a towel and cleaning spray and decided to clean the playground structure. The one that has families of happy spiders living on the undersides of it. Within the first 5 minutes I had killed (yes I killed them) 5 or 6 spiders. Did I mention that I hate spiders? And bugs? And the outside? And nature that bites or crawls or pinches or stings!? 3 HOURS LATER I'm finally done with my war against the playground spider invaders. I have about 40 kills under my belt. I feel proud that I have saved the kids from the menace at least until next week when the eggs hatch.
Now that Kieshan and I are home for the night our laziness has kicked in. My back feels like its on fire, and apparently kieshans videogame skills are on fire. The clock is creeping towards 8pm and we as awesome parents have not made dinner yet. Kieshan has graciously offered for Jackinthebox to cook for us. FATBOXX saga continues. The fight against laziness is real.

Day 3

Today was one of those live in the moment days. My oldest didn't feel good, I was tired, my workout partner didn't want to go to the gym this morning. You know the usual stuff. I did realize today that I make more money than I thought. And all I have to do is work a few extra shifts each month to bring in more money...sweet!

The Map

The Map

Without going into too much detail here is what I imagine: Work and live here in SB. Take short trips to visit family and enjoy each others company for the next year. I would like to go to Universal Studios, Palm Springs, San Diego, Big Sur. Find an easy not a lot of work part time job that brings in extra income.. At the same time decrease my bills by refi on cars. During the next year purchase 1 rental on the east coast and rent it out. No income expected from this. I will sign up for school possibly only online classes for the fall semester and continue in spring. I want to incorporate this year so I can file taxes this next year with the company. I want to take next summer off and hang out and spend time with my kiddos. I would like to relocate somewhere closer to my mom, and somewhere cheaper to live than SB. Im not particular where. I would like to purchase a home to move into preferably a duplex to help offset the mortgage cost. I would like to get my Crime scene Cert at the Jr college in Pleasanton Ca. In Sept 2016 I would like to get a great high paying job wherever we relocate to. 2016-2017 I would like to expand my Corp by buying a business of some sort; A Laundromat or other part time business. I will graduate from Sac State with a degree in Forensic Science.  I would like to travel more, I would like to have another baby, I would like to have family closer to me. Ultimately I would like to retire by age 45 and fully pursue other career dreams that open up at that time.

The start of a challenge

I start a 12 week gym challenge tomorrow morning it will go until 10/26. My challenge is to go to the gym 6 days a week, and do Shaun T 6 days a week as well. I will eat healthy meals, and I will not count calories. During the next 12 weeks I want to change how my family spends our weekends. Right now we do nothing unless we are going out of town. I want my kids to enjoy the beaches and parks of SB. I also want to retire from real work by the time I'm 55. I want to work in some area of investigative work. I want to start a corporation that invests in real estate an businesses.

Day 4&5

Yesterday felt good the kids stayed home with their dad. I worked out at the gym and burned 310 calories. I shadowed in the snf department. I will probably  hate it because it is so boring. I recieved a email back about the big job. I am still formulating my thoughts on it.  I will ultimately probably take the job because it pays more.  I ate well.  The scale says 170.1 at home. Today was okay I talked to lucinda about the job and told her I would decide by Tuesday.  I started my pills today. Hopefully they help with my energy level. Cameron got 3 time outs today with his substitute teacher. It was an uncomfortable time to watch Cameron get diciplined by his dad. I felt a lot of anxiety and stress today. Money and decisions to make. No gym today. I felt tired. Kieshan presented the idea of us moving closer to Mt Shasta. I feel trepidation with the thought of moving away from here.  I will continue to research the idea and options with that idea.