Day 4&5

Yesterday felt good the kids stayed home with their dad. I worked out at the gym and burned 310 calories. I shadowed in the snf department. I will probably  hate it because it is so boring. I recieved a email back about the big job. I am still formulating my thoughts on it.  I will ultimately probably take the job because it pays more.  I ate well.  The scale says 170.1 at home. Today was okay I talked to lucinda about the job and told her I would decide by Tuesday.  I started my pills today. Hopefully they help with my energy level. Cameron got 3 time outs today with his substitute teacher. It was an uncomfortable time to watch Cameron get diciplined by his dad. I felt a lot of anxiety and stress today. Money and decisions to make. No gym today. I felt tired. Kieshan presented the idea of us moving closer to Mt Shasta. I feel trepidation with the thought of moving away from here.  I will continue to research the idea and options with that idea.

Day 3

Today was a better day. I ordered my medicine, I ate healthy. I was asked if I  was interested in moving to the snf department so I  can make more money. I also got an email regarding the quality coordi ater position, though that one is still in limbo. I am feeling less like I need to move jobs, and am considering not continuing with the dispatch position. My dear friend Pegge got me a coffee pot....yay! I did not exercise though I did not feel obligated to either. I will exercise tomorrow after work ....NO MATTER WHAT!

Day 2

Today was another stark reminder of what i have yet to accomplish and goals I  have not achieved. I did enjoy a free  starbucks this morning. I actually pulled up at the gym but failed to work out. I ate way to much at dinner and listened to my son scream for an hour because  he wanted the ninny. I feel like I  live in really small bubble because i have no extra funds to do anything. Can i do better tomorrow? I have no choice.

The new beginning

I am going to try writing a littke every night and hope I can find a better direction that my life will lead. I feel like I accomplish very little with my kids on the weekends. I want to change that. And I  will. I want to be A person who works out every day. And i will from here forward. I want to not feel depressed anymore and i am not sure how to fix it. I blame it on stress and finances. I need to find happiness with what I  have and live within my means, and still be ok. My heart aches that I  never pursued my true dream of policework. I am struggling to find a solution. Tonight is Sunday night.....the evil night before Monday. The stats: 174lbs no diet over the weekend, no exercise, no special activities  with the kids. Here starts my new journey of success.